Mum-of-two Shabeena Zaidi recently launched her book, ‘Revelations of a Millennial Mom’, at an event in Dubai. In the book, Zaidi draws heavily from her own life, writing honestly about tough mum moments when conflicting emotions vie for a woman’s attention as she navigates a new chapter in her life.

At the launch at Mohammed bin Rashid Library, where the book is now available, she addressed feelings of ambivalence, compared experiences of traditional and millennial mums, and discussed why it’s imperative for women with kids to upskill themselves regularly.

With chapters such as ‘What no one tells you’, Zaidi, who is an Environmental Engineer and blogger, shines a raw, emotional spotlight on the realities of being a mother in today’s day and age.

When asked about her inspiration, she says: “When my first daughter was born in 2015, I realized there are many unspoken truths about motherhood. The media glorifies motherhood by portraying half-baked truths, but everything is not so hunky dory. You will not be happily running after your child in the park all the time, as shown in movies.”

She says feeling first-hand the dual emotions of resentment and love, emotions that all mums face but don’t talk about for fear of being labelled ‘bad mother’ pushed her to write. "I wanted to say that we can be vocal about motherhood, we can speak about the challenges this journey entails. To raise a voice to the fact that in mothering a child, the mother is of paramount importance but sometimes her needs are compromised. Mothers are truly generation makers, and mothers need to maintain good mental health is the responsibility of the society and people surrounding them,” she adds.

Among the revelations in her book is the trauma of the fourth trimester. "The physical exhaustion of waking up all through the night is given a neat medical term, postpartum depression, but it’s so much more than that. You tend to disconnect and undergo identity loss, you are almost forgotten as suddenly, after the child’s birth, the focal point of attention shifts to the new baby. We, as a society, forget that when the baby is born, the mother is also born, and she is naïve to childcare as a first-time mother,” stresses Zaidi.

She adds: “The strongest phase in the life of a mother where she brings life into this world is also the weakest phase in her life.”

The period, however, taught her resilience and – she laughs – how to be calm. “I have seen phenomenal changes in myself over the past few years. It has made me more passionate and focused. I now know what my priorities, strengths, and weaknesses are.”

And in writing this book, she mastered time management. “While writing this book, I knew I had to make the optimum use of the time available to me as a full-time mother. I would sit with my laptop during my writing hour. I would not get distracted even if my kids were shouting or playing at the top of their voices in the same room. Motherhood has streamlined my focus. I have learned to put my energies towards being productive, doing meaningful things, and removing unproductive tasks from my lists. As a mother, career and family both are equally important to me, and I have learned to maintain a balance between the two,” she explains.

That is not to say it was an easy period of balancing motherhood and work. She says: “’There were times, I felt that I would not be able to finish this book. There were times when my family also sacrificed their fun times. During the course of writing the book, we managed our timing very efficiently. We refrained from going out much. I researched and would pen down my thoughts when my kids were asleep or went to the nursery and school respectively. Maintaining consistency in writing was a challenging task with small kids. I wanted to be available to them and still work on the book.”

Now that she’s penned her tell-all, Zaidi is working towards a public speaking-cum-book club for mothers. “Through this club, I want to motivate mothers to use their nuggets of time to read and work towards their personal growth.I also intend to write another book bringing to the forefront the secrets and strategies of millennial mothers who have balanced their careers and home efficiently,” she explains.